Reality Blurred
by gingerlizard91
Summary: [10Rose] 'I love you more than anything in any world in any universe. I win.' Rose dreams about her beloved Doctor, but exactly how much of it is a dream? Post Doomsday and One Shot.


A/N: Many things must be said right now. First of all, I absolutely love Doctor Who, but because I'm cursed to live in the U.S., I only saw Doomsday recently and I haven't seen many other episodes. Therefore, if there's any crucial information I got wrong here, I apologize. Secondly, I haven't written a fan fic in a while, but the end of Doomsday had me bawling (mainly because someone had already told me what was going to happen) and I hate it when there's no closure, so . . . well, here ya go.

* * *

They'd often find her in the middle of the night in some erratic state. Jackie found her once sitting in front of the back door, hugging her knees to her chest and staring blankly into a wall . . . but fast asleep. Her father Pete remembered when he went in to check on her after a worried conversation with her mother only to find her head draped over the foot of the bed hugging a pillow tightly and smiling. Mickey can only talk of when he had to hold her for hours after finding her sitting up stiff as a board and sobbing on the couch. 

They all knew whom she dreamt of: The Doctor. _Her_ Doctor.

Rose had stopping counting the days since she last saw his shining smile. The brand new boots she'd worn that final day, standing on the cold Bad Wolf Beach and staring into his projected, obscure brown eyes, had sat idly since then. Rose hadn't removed them from the plastic bin in her closet, believing them to be a sandy, bittersweet reminder that he exists. He exists without her.

She both loved and hated him for leaving her in this dimension. She had the family now that she'd always wished for. She was still loved – that much she could thank the Doctor for, as much as she hated to think about it. But this dimension wasn't the same, and Rose was certain her mother noticed it, too. Sure, it looked the same; there was still a London, still a BBC One, still that cute little park down the street from her mother's flat. The same prime ministers and presidents ruled the same nations, and the Earth was still a green and blue planet. It only felt different, like waking up every day was a dream Rose Tyler couldn't escape from.

Rose had tried countless times to move on. It was best the advice anyone had ever given her on love and it was also the hardest to follow through on. She could no longer kiss another man without having the Doctor's image pop up in her mind. Silly, she thought, how he was a universe away and continued to influence her. Her life was for naught. Rose had contemplated suicide once or twice, out of longing for him, but knew her mother needed her more than anyone else. She was no longer a human being – just a shell of one, walking the earth day after day with no meaning, no purpose. The faintest glimmer of hope left the last time he'd said her name had all but diminished.

As Rose laid in her bed one night, she closed her eyes and forced herself to think of anything but him. Useless as it seemed, she did it every night and it would often lull her to sleep. Then her imagination would take charge, and as events of the previous day would creep in, one dream would dominate her night: standing in an empty TARDIS, calling for her Doctor, but to no avail.

That did not happen this night.

Rose dreamt of sitting on the cold, metal floor of the TARDIS, crying as usual, waiting for him to jump into sight and tell her of the strange new star they'd be traveling to in a distant galaxy. She sat and waited to wake up as she did all the time.

That is, of course, until she saw the pair of dirty white high-tops standing just a few feet before her.

Rose was afraid to look up. She knew she was dreaming, and that it wasn't really him, but her heart rate increased tenfold as she slowly looked up into the eyes of her most precious Doctor, staring down upon her, her spiky-haired angel. She stood rigidly, taking in as much as she could of him, and shook her head.

"I'm dreaming," she whispered. "You're not real."

He smiled, that toothy smile she so dearly loved. "About one thing you're right! You are dreaming. It's the only way I could get through to you again."

Her heart skipped a beat and she took a step back. "What . . . What do you mean?"

"New technology, can you believe it? All the way from Klaeok and Bel Morgan! An inter-dimensional dream portal! Marvelous, isn't it?" His eyes twinkled.

And then, Rose did something she hadn't done in a while: she smiled. Not a forced grin or a grimace, but a genuine smile. The kind she always had on around him. Her arm involuntarily rose to reach for him, but she pulled back. _How stupid of me_, she thought. _I haven't learned a thing_.

Just then, the Doctor's hand shot out and grabbed hers. He actually _took_ her hand, and she _felt_ it. It was cool but full of life, just as she'd remembered it. He brought it to his chest, and when she felt his two hearts beating, her knees buckled and she nearly collapsed. Rose ran into her Doctor's arms and hung on for dear life. The Doctor kissed her head of messy blonde hair over and over again and seemed as unwilling as she was to let go.

"Oh, my Rose," he whispered in her ear, letting go of her. "My Rose Tyler."

Rose was finding it difficult to regain her breath. "Y-You've come back for me, right? Come back to get me?"

The Doctor's lovely grin shrank to a look of despair. "It's not that easy. This technology is new and undeveloped. It will take many years of your life to perfect. My time with you is running out as we speak."

Through the seriousness of the moment, Rose had to smile again. "Time is always running out with you."

"I guess that's what I get for being a Time Lord." He grinned and took her hand, again pulling her near. "Rose, I feel as though . . . I owe you a few things."

Before Rose could utter a word past her lips, they were covered by his lips. He stole the breath right out of her lungs, gently caressing and she was helpless. Just as her hand meandered up his back, he pulled away and gauged her hurt expression.

"We have little time, remember?"

Rose nodded in full understanding.

"Rose, my dear," the doctor started, placing his hands on her shoulders, "do you believe in destiny?"

Rose looked up in thought, fighting back tears. "I believe in you."

"Might you believe that I was never meant for you?" His eyes were telling.

She put a finger to his lips. "Stop it! You've always been meant for me!"

The doctor shook his head. "I'm not . . . _good_ enough for you, Rose."

Her heart lurched violently. Where was he going with this?

"Why do you think I wanted to let go of you in the first place?" he went on. "I lead a life of solitude and danger not meant for any human. The very last thing I wanted was for you to lose _your_ life because of _me_."

"It was a life I wanted to be a part of . . . Oh, listen to me! What a selfish brat I am!"

He smiled. "Rose, you must promise me to never forget about us. Never forget about our adventures, our pain, our joy . . . You told me you would be with me forever, and I intend to keep it that way. And every night, look to the sky, Rose. The star that shines the brightest is me, always watching you, waiting for the day when we can be together again."

Her bottom lip quivered. "I love you more than life," she said.

He cupped her face in both of his hands. "I love you more than anything in any world in any universe." He grinned boyishly. "I win."

Rose grinned too, and in a flash, she awoke in a cold sweat, her vision obscured by unconscious tears. She was up and out of bed in an instant, running to her window in a fever. She heaved it open, whipped her head out and looked up.

There, right in her line of sight, a star twinkled far brighter than the others.

That was all she needed.


End file.
